Torch trigger is in person - the same things, thoughts and reflections with the struggling the last couple of years ... Sports gives a lot, when the award is a joy and a positive attitude on the go - but the motivation and the joy disappeared, out comes a compulsive performance - the result of the obligations of pressure - getting back to their sometimes rocky road behind.Cycling sport came in my life only when twin daughters were about 2-3 years of age - Initially just try to getting better shape - but pretty quickly I started a systematic training program. Looking back, thinking sport - its content, dominated my daily life - as indeed it should be one of the athlete-oriented ... But, now I can recognize that, the family probably suffered from it, I was not unable to combined these in appropriate proportions. Sport, had come to me some sort of drug, where I control myself, my food and my life. The interview as it became clear how often the athlete's identity is built according to what he/she is doing, to perform.
But what is an athlete, his career is over?
What do I have if I am not role an athlete - the difficulty make a decisions - Motivation problems - Performance calculation - How to fill it with a vacuum, which comes after stopping - on the ground would have to stand up again and start to build a new life ...
profits from previous years. I explained myself a manifestation of the fact that I had made a decision to stop after season. competition would be the last season. It was stress-free interval, the results spoke for themselves. Supported the decision was also that I had filed for sports massage therapist in training - and confirmed that I would be the place for the next course section studies.
I ran throughout the previous summer between home in Finland and abroad ... the race after race. Sometimes I remember an indication that the equation - Single parent - Athlete - The mother - is not the easiest to be implemented at a practical level the trinity - but I was determined to go, and to do best the performance for the period through to the season. I did what was required, or what others expected.
But a new study in Spain was waiting for. And cyclists, when you move to Spain for the winter - to mean that many sources of comments as people, was that the summer of 2012 bike will flies! I'd like to correct "a misunderstanding" as to why in fact I'm here - It is a learning profession, at the end of sporting career. I make my living by pedaling, unfortunately, been able to earn with it. But, more recently, Spanish, local cyclists who I got to know, I have faced an extremely warm welcome and received tremendous support from them, what ever I will going to do. On the other hand this level of support, comes too late for me and is no longer difficult to turn your head toward the tough challenges. One of the biggest problem is the another leg. There is major functional changes / problems in the leg, which I have so far been no permanent cure found. Now, more than usual in Finland during the winter, I have been cycled a lot and it seems to be getting worse. Some days it is so difficult, depend on the pain and it loose all power in the leg. I have been asked countless times from myself, why I do this, if I don't enjoy this the same level as before I did?!So, the time has come to make the final choice! Of all types of emotional storms, which has gone through, crying - a kick - a rage - And I still processes.
What is certain is that on my side it's that World Cup-level races are history - I want to concentrate on my studies and carry through 100% - with honor! And if the passion and power is enough, I will cycling, of course for hobby - Without performance targets. We have a nice outfit with a work out, but playing sports with goal-oriented received a decision the end. Also, I feel relief to have the imported my thoughts out.These tears ...